HollywoodIdiocy.com

Steve Carrel may not be up there in the same stratosphere as Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler just yet, but he’s working on it. Following a little market research, the producers of Bruce Almighty, an adult-rated comedy with religious overtones, cast Carrel as the focus of a family-rated comedy with religious overtones and have found box office success in creating a film that, while fully entertaining and amusing, shows a bit of reverence for G-d and his wisdom.

The new film, Evan Almighty, casts Carrel, star of NBC’s The Office, as a news anchor turned U.S. Congressman who is called by Morgan Freeman’s G-d character to build an ark in very Noah-like fashion, playing havoc with his debut in Congress.

Mixing elements of “The Santa Clause” with Cecil B. DeMille, Carrel struggles against the L-rd’s calling on his life, but finds himself oddly content once he embraces it. Filled with amusing moments and genuine humility, the flick should be satisfying family fare for folks whether they have cracked a Bible once in the last five years or not.

Evan Almighty shows how an ark might be completed by a small team of workers even though Evan had a much shorter timeframe than did biblical Noach. (Hint: the animals were enlisted by the Almighty for a little heavy-lifting assistance.)

Freeman’s portrayal of the Almighty is even gentler than his take on it in the original Bruce Almighty, and he brings just the right balance of sternness, truth-telling, and a genuine affection for his creation to the table; while portraying G-d in human form is always risky business, especially with religious audiences watching, in all Freeman’s take has become a personal favorite, far surpassing the classic takes of George Burns in the Oh God! series of films.

The tone of this blog is often a bit negative, pointing out Hollywood’s warts; every once in a while, th

If any other movie in America had debuted in the ninth spot on the movie charts in its opening week, taking in less than $1.5 million, it would be declared an abject failure and barely a blip on the radar. But since the film is by Hollywood’s second-favorite propagandist (sorry, Mikey, but Al Gore now has the top spot), no one’s willing to admit the floppish nature of Moore’s new anti-everything-not-as-ultra-liberal-as-he-is film, “Sicko.”

Except me, of course.

The sweet bit is this: a long-overdue sequel to the Die Hard franchise, starring America’s favorite patriot and closet conservative, Bruce Willis, came in second, seven spots above Moore and raking in about seven times more than the bespectacled filmmaker.

Of course, these are Friday-only figures, so the jury’s still out, but it’s unlikely “Sicko” will be catching up to “Live Free or Die Hard,” like, ever. And a note to Officer John McClaine: the terrorist behind all those evils you’ve been fighting now for four films goes by the initials M.M., and he’s not that interested in living free, so… you know… do what you must.

Now, before y’all start filling up mailboxes saying I’m advocating anyone’s demise, keep in mind that JOHN MCCLAINE IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER!

But then, increasingly as time goes on, so is Michael Moore.

Why is John Travolta still famous?

The former sweathog has seen his career crash and burn more times that Arnold Horshack would go, “Ooo! Oooo! Oooo! Oooo! Mr. Kotter!” before being called on, on “Welcome Back, Kotter!” the show that made Gabe Kaplan the answer to about 52 pop culture of the 1970s trivia questions.

Now an ancient 53, Travolta has decided to take career advice from Tom “married to the child he’s molesting” Cruise and sound off against psychiatric drugs as part of a Scientology-fueled rant. And they say Christians are obnoxious about their faith?

Pardon me, Mr. Travolta, if the rest of America turns to psychiatric and mental health experts for our medical/psychological advice, rather than an overweight ex-sweathog whose idea of a good time is dressing up in women’s clothing in his latest musical film, Hairspray. Leave your in the business cards goldfish bowl up front and maybe we can invite you and 11 of your closest friends to a free lunch and a presentation on Florida swam– real estate.

Obnoxious loudmouth leftist Rosie O’Donnell may have gotten the boot from ABC’s The View for demonstrating her inability to live up to her “Queen of Nice” moniker, but she’s hardly hard up for employment opportunities. The new NBC programming chief, a die-hard leftist, wants to do anything to make ABC’s former headache his migraine, publicly stating his top priority is to get O’Donnell on the Peacock.

But he’ll have to move fast to get past the sound machines the other nets are blowing her way; the latest hot rumor is O’Donnell wants to replace Bob Barker on The Price is Right.

Actually, the job could be a great fit for Rosie if she sticks to being a game show host and keeps the politics out of it. But the likelihood of that is about equal to the likelihood of Don Imus becoming the next head women’s basketball coach at Rutgers.

Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper may be the best conservative in North America, especially considering the RINO status of most US Republican candidates running for president this election cycle.

Harper won conservative cred this week by proving he’s not star-struck by celebrities and is more concerned with the real work of governing his country. Proving he’d rather by his concert tickets online rather than in person from a band leader, Harper spoke out this week saying that “meeting with Bono,” the frontman of Irish rock band U2 turned political activist on worldwide poverty, was “not a priority” for his administration.

“I’ve got to say that meeting celebrities isn’t kind of my shtick, that was the shtick of the previous guy,” Harper told the Reuters News Service in a dig at his Liberal predecessor Paul Martin, who met Bono regularly. “I hope we do it at some point but my principle focus in public policies is not kind of to meet celebrities.”

Too bad this guy already has the top job in Canada, as I fear we need his type here in the US; he’d be a fine model for US Republicans to follow. Harper was kind enough to say he likes U2’s music.

Paris Hilton was released from jail after serving only three full days in Century Regional Detention Facility in Los Angeles. The star of E! channel’s The Simple Life apparently conned guards into becoming concerned over her mental health and well-being by refusing to eat and crying herself to sleep every night. Some guards and medics fretted over whether she would give into a total nervous breakdown or even become a suicide risk.

Dollars to donuts, Mr. and Mrs. Hilton witnesses similar behavior by Paris, now 26, about 10-15 years ago, when attempting to ground her to her room. Yet because she is viewed as a young, wealthy, white socialite, her temper tantrum theatrics secured her early release to “house arrest” for the balance of her 23-sentence, reduced from an original 45-day sentence.

Meanwhile, her Samsonite luggage hasn’t even grown cold in the lockup’s personal affects locker and the big scandal is the question of whether someone old, poor, and non-white would have received such sympathetic treatment.

Here’s a hint: NO!

Does anyone with half a brain (which still puts them well ahead of Ms. Hilton) think Paris was suicidal? Unlikely. And at least the judge and prosecutor aren’t buying it: she’s been ordered back to court on Friday (today) for a review of her release, and may even be sent back to jail.

I’d recommend not letting her have dessert with her meals, either; a tactic which, if employed by Mr. and Mrs. Hilton some years ago, might have steered Paris clear of such narcissistic behavior.

Another shining example of Hollywood Idiocy.