HollywoodIdiocy.com

Producers aren’t exactly inviting writers to a cozy weekend getaway at a Colorado bed and breakfast, but at least the two sides are talking again. The post-Thanksgiving efforts to resume negotiations have several TV writers and stars optimistic for an early resolution to the standoff between the Writers Guild of America and the Hollywood producers.

In fact, 30 Rock writer-producer Tina Fey, star of the NBC hit comedy, was recently seen in a video posted on TVSquad.com in which she says she’s optimistic that a resolution may be as close as a week away. That’s great news to TV viewers already annoyed that some of their shows didn’t get a full November sweeps run. The strike will definitely make TV-land more barren in December than it normally is, and if the strike drags on much longer, there could be no February sweeps to speak of, at least not in the normal, full-schedule sense of the word.

Let’s hope things go short and work out well for the writers; if they can get back in front of their word processors prior for a couple weeks prior to the winter holiday season, February sweeps could still be salvaged, as well as the seasons of most shows currently on strike-induced hiatus.

When you’re suddenly unemployed, like so many in Hollywood in the wake of the WGA Writer’s Strike, I bet it’s not easy to get a new checking account without a regular paycheck. Yet online banks like WaMu might be a help in a situation like that. Their free checking option seems like a good way to protect yourself against stockpiling a bunch of treacherous bank fees to add to your problems when cash gets tight.

I’ve seen some bank fees really pile up on friends of mine; in less than a month, one simple overdraft can snowball into a bigger pile of debt than can ever pay off easily - more than they make in a month. Friendly neighborhood banks have been taken over by so many merged banking conglomerates that collecting bank fees seems to be more of an obsession with banks these days than establishing long-term banking relationships with loyal customers.

Strange as it may seem, online banks like WaMu seem more personal and merciful than a lot of bigger-name national banking franchises, these days. What’s the world coming to? All I can say is, I bet the out-of-work techies are happy to hear that writers and producers are getting together to resume talks after Thanksgiving. It’s a sign of hope.

Personally, I think the Hollywood studio and network heads all need to submit to a corporate performance management survey and take their share of the blame for the 2007 WGA Strike, or as it is otherwise known, a big *edited* mess!

Even though networks and studios are making a small but growing killing off Internet downloads, media streaming, cell phone downloads and of course, DVD sales, they are too greedy to admit they need to share some of the fat of this undiscovered country with others. Currently, writers are paid a pittance - four percent - on DVD sales and nothing on all those episodes of The Office you downloaded to your iPod for $1.99 per episode.

I haven’t seen anyone specifically state, in hard figures, the WGA’s demands, but it seems clear to me that the DVD percentage should rise modestly to about six percent - which would represent a 50-percent raise - and that this six percent figure should be extended to cover all forms of electronic media sale, whether they are sold via Sprint cell phone, iPod Touch, Xbox 360, PC download or whatever other way they can dream up to sell episodes of free TV shows for $1.99 a pop.

That’s only $0.12 per episode out of the studio’s pocket, and about $2.99 per typical $49.99 “complete season” DVD collection to be divided among the writers of a typical 22- to 24-episode season.

It’s not much money until you start selling millions of copies or downloads. And studio fat-cats are calling the writers unreasonable?

Unless writers blink, which doesn’t seem likely this time, it seems to me the Six Percent Solution would represent a good middle ground for everyone to settle on. So: can we just skip the six months or so of work stoppage, agree to it now, and get everyone in Hollywood back to work, please? NBC has already fired over 100 employees involved in producing The Office, with no guarantees of being able to reassemble the same crew six months down the line when this finally does shake out.

Real lives are being affected by the work stoppage. I’m not talking about writers here, even; I’m talking about the much-less-well-paid techies who make the entertainment industry tick. Let’s skip the protracted thing and just get on with both sides being reasonable enough to settle where we all know they ought to be anyway.

It sounded too good to be true when it was announced last spring.

When it renewed breakout drama HEROES, the network ordered an extra-large portion of the drama for the 2007-08 season, asking for 24 regular-season episodes, and a six-episode miniseries called HEROES: ORIGINS, which would focus one six potential new heroes, one of whom would be added to the regular cast in the third season. That made a total of 30 hours of NBC’s most highly-rated drama.

Now, it looks like the network may be fortunate to produce 10 hours of HEROES this season. The network has already put plans on hiatus for HEROES: ORIGINS, and now has announced plans to shelve the series entirely until next fall, if the WGA goes through with the announced writers strike.

If a strike is averted, the show could still move forward this season as planned; however, at the moment I’m writing this, no deal has been announced, and it’s midnight on the east coast.

The final episode of HEROES this season, if the strike happens, would air on NBC on December 3. Stinks, doesn’t it? Not exactly the kind of thing that inspires folks to go out and buy designer inspired jewelry, is it?

Whether your entertainment tastes run toward Saw IV or The Girl With the Pearl Necklace… or was that earring?… movies or TV, late-night talkers or early-morning gab fests, there could soon be a whole lot less entertainment going on if last-minute negotiations between Hollywood producers and the Writers Guild of America fail to produce a compromise deal.

The stakes are large.

On the one hand, writers are the lifeblood of ideas that flows through the Hollywood circulatory system, yet the in-force deal with Hollywood cuts them out of a share in DVD, wireless and Internet sales produced as a result of their efforts. There is a reasonable case to be made that they should have their fair share.

The question at stake is, how much?

After a previous negotiation failed to produce the desired results several years ago, WGA members feel they are owed a larger portion to make up for all the extra royalties they’ve missed out on as DVD, wireless and Internet distribution has boomed, enriching producers.

Producers, naturally, want to give up as little as possible - preferably, nothing.

By standing too firm, neither side will gain. As work slows and ultimately grinds to a halt, competition from unscripted reality programming, videogames, music, Internet and other forms of entertainment threaten to gain ground against an already-dwindling TV and movie-going audience. Hit shows now boast ratings that, even 10 years ago, would have made them cancellation fodder. The question producers must ask is whether they can afford to allow a long work stoppage to give consumers an extended period to discover and become distracted by other forms of entertainment.

Writers, however, must be careful not to overreach; while they certainly must be entitled to a fair share of the profits from such new revenue streams, they must remain realistic in how large that “fair share” might be.

My estimation is that a livable deal will give writers a standardized royalty for such new revenues streams that are in line with current royalty rates from other, existing revenue streams. And producers must face the fact that they can’t hog all the profit pie to themselves, when what they are profiting on is the intellectual property of others.

It’s a lesson as simple as kindergarten: if you’re going to bring cookies to class, bring enough so that everyone can have some.

Although I believe Meet the Press host Tim Russert has become one of the few “fair and balanced” journalists not employed by Fox News Channel, that didn’t save him from Hillary’s wrath after he asked her a couple - GASP - tough questions that assumed she would be, y’know, consistent in her replies, at least in a single night.

No such luck, Hillary’s enraged and now a Hillary supporter has issued a death-wish on the hapless journalist, who has been far tougher on other Dems, on Republicans, heck, he’s been tougher on Nancy Kerrigan!

All it does, really, is reveal a little early March Madness to this election, and the expectationof Camp Hillary that their delicate, terrorist-negotiating flower of a candidate should never even be questioned, let alone be tossed a hard one.

Senator Rodham: what a wimp!

Drugged-out, ex-hippie Hillary-haters rejoice. Your guru, Don Imus, will be back on the radio waves being “not funny” again beginning Monday, December 3.

Apparently, making tasteless jokes about Rutgers women’s basketball teams has a price tag: A six-month or so vacation, and a move to a bigger, broader radio network in the form of ABC Radio, as well as a five-year deal that will pay him between $25 and $40 million.

Now, I’m not in the Democratic camp that says people - especially talk radio people - should lose their jobs for making idiot statements. But I’m not sure it should merit a raise, either.

While some folks have a mind full of sharp, Dell memory quality recall, apparently there are plenty of folks who are lumping Imus in with “right wing talk radio.”

Except Imus is not right wing. I mean, sure, he’s anti-Hillary. But so’s half the country, including Barack Obama (who’s unlikely to make nice with Imus after the Rutgers incident), John Edwards, Algore, etc… Imus was, is and always will be a liberal.

But beyond politics, the more important note is that Imus was, is and always will be an ass.