• About
  • Disclosure Policy
  • Archives
  • Categories
  • Archive for August, 2008

    Review: The American Mall (DVD)


    2008 - 08.31

    Who would have thought that the live-action musical would ever make a comeback? Yet playing off the strengths of High School Musical and High School Musical 2 comes another live-action musical, The American Mall, from the folks at MTV. Featuring a cast of unknowns, all part of the pimple cream crowd, the biggest disappointment in the energetic musical film is that virtually the entire cast seems to be, at best, lip-synching experts. One might hope that at least a couple of the leads would be cast for their singing voices, but apparently, no such luck.

    The movie is so good-natured and clean-cut, one might expect Disney Studios to be the creator, rather than MTV. Like most good musicals, there are plenty of catchy tunes and the acting segments are a story-frame constructed merely to link each production number together. There is also plenty of dancing, complete with tributes to “classic Hollywood” musicals where there are overhead shots of dancers lined up in patterns doing choreographic kicks.

    The tale centers on musical prodigy Ally, whose mom is a disillusioned pop star who now runs a struggling music story in a mall. Ally’s main problem is that while she can start songs that are potential hits, she can never seem to finish her compositions.

    Not, that is, until she runs into Joey, another musical prodigy who works on the mall’s maintenance crew. Their connection is threatened, of course; in this case, by spoiled brat Madison, daughter of the mall’s owner, who is seeking to bump the music store out of the mall to make way for her own line of high-fashion clothing stores.

    Like most good musicals, there’s a classic good vs. evil theme that runs throughout, and the payoff (without spoiling too much or being overly specific) is a classic old-time Hollywood happy ending that should make folks come away humming some of the tunes and wondering when Nina Dobrev (Ally), Rob Mayes (Joey) and Autumn Reeser (Madison) might actually be in something else, as they turn in decent enough performances in a movie that promises low expectations going in.

    The main difference between The American Mall and classic Hollywood musicals like The Sound of Music is that the old Hollywood stuff offered up stars like Julie Andrews who actually knew how to sing. That’s the biggest stickler with The American Mall; not only do none of the singing voices seem to match the actors, but the singers who are used as stand-ins have their voices so overly-filtered that it’s hard to tell how much real talent is actually there.

    While The American Mall is not going to make anyone forget about Singin’ In the Rain, The Sound of Music or even Grease, it’s a good-natured flick that’s appropriate viewing for the entire family, and that’s worth a look, at least. Plus, since the music is all modern bubblegum rock, it’s more relatable to the younger generation that those older, though superior, movies.

    Review: Trapped Ashes (DVD)


    2008 - 08.31

    Anyone remember the 1980s-era Stephen King movie, Cat’s Eye? Or his other movie of similar concept, Creepshow? They were collections of King’s short fiction, several stories that, in and of themselves, were not long enough to sustain a movie, but were collected together to become feature-length. Trapped Ashes is similar to those films, though inspired by even earlier horror anthology movies.

    The film is a collection of five tales, each directed separately by different directors, including Sean S. Cunningham of Friday the 13th fame and Joe Dante, who cut his teeth on Gremlins as well as some earlier and more recent stuff, as well as three other directors who aren’t as recognizable, Ken Russell, Monte Hellman and John Gaeta.

    Unlike Saw, Hostel and much of the other torture-centric muck that seems to dominate the horror market these days, Trapped Ashes is a throwback to EC Comics and Stephen King-style horror with a sly morality tale slipped into the gross-out goodness.

    The cast, largely a group of unknowns, is headlined by character actor Henry Gibson as “the Tour Guide,” who is probably best known for his recent work on ABC’s Boston Legal as Judge Clark Brown. The friendly, impish man plays a studio backlot tour guide who leads our main cast into an old movie set that looks like something out of Psycho, and warns them that if they enter the house, “all the effects are real,” which means they become trapped inside until they share their personal tales of horror.

    It’s a somewhat clever, somewhat cornball wrapper around the four main short subjects submitted by the other directors, and credit for it goes to Joe Dante. Surprisingly, the most effective tale – at least in my opinion – comes not from Cunningham, but Russell, whose segment “The Girl with the Golden Breasts” is a sly morality tale on fame and vanity in Hollywood, filled with gross-out moments, nudity and sexual content; it’s the most adult piece in this fairly adult-themed movie.

    “Jibaku” is Cunningham’s contribution to the pastiche, and in the 20-plus minutes he’s given, proves he can handle human emotions on film a bit better than he did back when he was filming the first few Friday the 13th slasher flicks, notorious for dehumanizing the victims so much that only Jason was left as a sympathetic character. It is a cautionary tale of temptation and lust.

    “Stanley’s Girlfriend” is a very predictable, paint-by-numbers tale that warns of the dangers of betraying a friend, and is probably the least-inspired story in the collection, courtesy of Hellman. “My Twin, The Worm” is a disturbing tale of infidelity and pregnancy that lacks a clear moral core and seems the tale most affected by the brevity in which the tale is told.

    While Trapped Ashes made its cinematic run in 2006, it is on sale now on DVD and although uneven, makes for a half-decent popcorn movie for adults. However, due to a fair amount of sexuality and nudity, it’s not for the 17 and under crowd.

    Weak end to summer box office


    2008 - 08.31

    Only Tropic Thunder managed to draw more than $10 million in box office in the weekend preceding Labor Day, the traditional end to the summer movie season. Totals through Sunday have the Robert Downey Jr.-headed comedy coming away with $11.5 million for its third straight week atop the box office draw. As the movie that dethroned The Dark Knight from the top spot, it’s been a great summer movie season for actor Robert Downey Jr., whose Marvel Studios superhero pic, Iron Man, kicked off the summer blockbuster season.

    So far, Tropic Thunder has grossed $86 million in worldwide box office, while Iron Man topped out at $571 million in worldwide box office. Together, that gives Downey Jr. $657 million in box office this summer.

    By comparison, The Dark Knight has accumulated an additional $8.75 million this weekend, bringing it’s domestic total to $502 million and its worldwide total to $919 million.

    So, while summer may be packing its Rimowa bags, the future looked bright for Downey Jr., who has had as much impact on summer box office success as nearly anyone, aside from the cast of The Dark Knight.

    If Downey Jr. can avoid another career-derailing misstep, he should expect to see several large paydays in the near future.

    In other chart news, Babylon AD debuted in second place with $9.7 million, a worrisome note considering its $70 million budget; The House Bunny came in fourth, close behind The Dark Knight, with $8.4 million. And Traitor, the Guy Pearce-Don Cheadle vehicle, rounded out the Top 5 spots with $7.9 million.

    Other disappointments: The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emporer has fallen to the 13 spot, grossing only $97 million to date against a $145 million budget. Star Wars: The Clone Wars is already out of the Top 10, with only $27 million grossed to date. And Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 dropped from 12 to 19 this week, drawing only $1.45 million but has already grossed $41 million against a budget of $27 million, making it a value film despite a brief run.

    Tropic Thunder holds strong, The Dark Knight fades


    2008 - 08.26

    Tropic Thunder may not be set on a beach or feature starlets in skimpy swimwear, but Robert Downey Jr’s risky performance in black-face was apparently enough to help the movie cling to the top spot in box office draw in the weekend leading up to the coronation of the political messiah, Barry Obama.

    Tropic Thunder garnered $16.2 million, just enough to hold off newcomers The House Bunny ($14.5 million) and Death Race ($12.6 million). The Dark Knight, knocked off its perch at number one last weekend by Tropic Thunder, slipped to fourth place overall this week, bringing in only $10.5 million in its sixth week of release.

    Tropic Thunder has topped $65 million in two weeks, while The Dark Knight’s total now stands at $489 million domestically and $381 million overseas for a combined total of $871 million. The Dark Knight is now second only to Titanic in all-time box office.

    Review: War Games: The Dead Code (DVD)


    2008 - 08.21

    When I first heard they were dusting off the old Matthew Broderick-Ally Sheedy movie WarGames and updating it for 2008, I was skeptical. The old film had been a fun thriller, but what with the mainstreaming of computer technology in the 25 years since the film’s debut, I just wasn’t sure they could carry off the same sort of “bumbling innocent” plot that had worked back when the tops in personal computer technology was either an Apple IIe or a Commodore 64, depending on your preference.

    Happily, I was wrong. Not only has the concept been updated, it’s been brought to life by a solid post-September 11 re-conceptualization that makes the story more relevant than ever. War Games: The Dead Code takes place 25 years after the first film and JOSHUA is an historical footnote on diet pills. The hot new government super-computer is a piece of AI run amok known as Ripley (nice Aliens reference), who identifies terrorist cells by luring them with a big cash-for-play internet videogame that supposedly assesses terrorist skills and knowledge.

    Basically, if you win at the Ripley war game, you are marked as a “person of interest” in bio-terrorism and the government comes after you, big time, guns blazing. Yikes! Yeah, that’s what Osama bin Laden and his cronies do all day when they’re not flying airplanes into skyscrapers … they’re playing videogames on the Internet. Right.

    Despite the rather ridiculous presupposition of terrorist pastimes, the rest of the movie holds together rather well as a thriller; despite a PG-13 rating, however, parents should be warned that the language in this movie is nowhere near as clean-cut as its 1983 predecessor, which is a disappointment. Next thing you know, they’ll remake Short Circuit as a sexbot.

    Matt Lanter of HEROES fame plays the lead role, while Amanda Walsh is his chess-club counterpart; neither seem destined to outshine Broderick-Sheedy, but stranger things have happened and both turn in solid performances and both are definitely better actors at this point in their careers than then-newcomers Broderick and Sheedy were at that time.

    The extras are pleasant and in the end, War Games: The Dead Code delivers the goods well enough to say that it didn’t embarrass the legacy of its predecessor; however, aside from being a bit dated, the original is still the superior film and contains far less profanity, making it better family viewing than the remake.

    Review: Disney’s College Road Trip (Blu-Ray)


    2008 - 08.20

    Given its G rating, I wasn’t sure what to expect from Disney’s College Road Trip, but I was relatively confident that, at the very least, there’d be nothing offensive language-wise. On that count, I was correct and so the Martin Lawrence-Raven Symone father-daughter comedy was a welcome respite from the “unrated edition” stuff I usually wade through.

    Despite being a Disney comedy, the film is not without some quirkiness; the most notable example is Lawrence’s obsession in the first half of the film with his son’s pet pig, which he claims is “eyeballing me.” The subplot shows promise for some genuine weirdness that I won’t spoil in the scope of this review, but then is dropped completely from the second half of the film with no real payoff on the idea.

    Of course, the focus of the film is the father-daughter relationship, not the father-pig relationship; and despite the film being littered with promotional products and embedded advertising, the movie is enjoyable – if you’re a member of the younger set.

    While a great “whole family” film, the comedy is a bit over the top for older audiences, and even the teen crowd that Symone’s character is part of would have a hard time swallowing the schmaltzy story being told. Still, better a bunch of sloppy sentiments about kids growing up and away from their parents than, saw, delving into the repetitive world of the Saw movie franchise, right? A person can only tolerate so much of that.

    The conflict is a rather simple one; dad wants daughter to go to a college close to home and daughter, naturally, wants to go to a “much better school” halfway across the country. The action is livened up by a rare appearance by Donny Osmund, of all people, who submits an enjoyable performance as a Ned Flanders type.

    By featuring Symone, who is anything but the typical emaciated Hollywood starlet that Miley Cyrus represents, the film offers an appealing protagonist who won’t make young kids feel quite so inadequate. Still, the bottom line here is that the film is funny in places, but probably in a way that will embarrass older kids, while younger kids will enjoy it quite a bit. As for the adults, well … anything’s better than the 500th viewing of The Parent Trap, right? Either version.

    Iron man upsets The Dark Knight, at last


    2008 - 08.17

    With a career revitalized by the Iron Man film, Robert Downey Jr.’s risky role in Tropic Thunder powered the campy comedy to an upset of The Dark Knight after a solid month of box office bat-dominance. Tropic Thunder scored $26 million in its debut, while The Dark Knight slipped to the second spot with $16.7 million.

    Batman now has $471 million domestically, $328 million overseas, and a grand total that just eclipsed the $800 million mark. Star Wars: The Clone Wars ($15.5 million), Mirrors ($11.1 million) and Pineapple Express ($10 million) round out the Top 5 spots.

    X-Files: I Want To Believe has already been pulled from theaters like the tiny Micro SD card its box office results unfortunately resembled.

    Clooney causing global warming to support Obama


    2008 - 08.14

    Hypocrite actor George Clooney is willing to cause a fair amount of additional global warming if it means getting his candidate, Barack Obama, elected. How so?

    Well, the Progesterone-needing actor learned from his support of John Kerry that making his support of a candidate know might actually hurt them, at least in the US. So Clooney is now willing to jet over to Europe to attend private fund-raisers on foreign soil in support of an Obama nation.

    According to online reports, Clooney’s latest private jet trip was Geneva, Switzerland-bound, where for $1,000 you could attend a fund-raiser in the private home of one of Obama’s national finance committee members. For $10,000, you could accompany Clooney to the bash, though his private jet was still off-limits.

    Wow, what a sacrifice for Clooney; by his own values, he is killing the planet for Barack Obama. Way to go, Georgie-boy!

    One of Hollywood’s elite just got hotter


    2008 - 08.14

    One of Hollywood’s hottest female stars, Angelina Jolie, just became more interesting and a bit less brain-dead; while she hasn’t yet made up her mind, actress Angelina Jolie – wife of Brad Pitt – has made it known she hasn’t settled on a candidate yet for the 2008 presidential election, and that John McCain is still “in play” for her.

    Jolie, hardly a “traditional conservative,” is the daughter of actor Jon Voight, who recently declared his support for McCain over Obama. Jolie is a celebrity goodwill ambassador of the UN High Commissioner for Refugees, so who she supports wouldn’t matter much if she fell in with the rest of the Hollyweird Left, but if she choses to support McCain, it could raise a few eyebrows in much the same way that actor Ron Silver’s support for George W. Bush did in 2004.

    Of course, Silver’s been in few films since outing his support for Bush, but quenching Jolie’s star power might be a bit more difficult for the Liberal Media Elite, considering Jolie is widely considered one of the top 5 female stars in Hollywood.

    While HollywoodIdiocy.com remains firmly unconvinced that celebrity endorsements matter at all, we confess that the possibility of McCain gaining the support Jolie is at least of passing interest, and is sure to make producers re-check their corporate performance management charts for just how to respond.

    Dark Knight fends off Pineapple Express


    2008 - 08.10

    The Dark Knight is showing signs of slowing its momentum, but is still doing powerful enough business to fend off the latest challenger, the Seth Rogan comedy, The Pineapple Express. Dark Knight had a $26 million weekend in its fourth week of release, while Pineapple Express enjoyed a close second place with $22.6 million in its debut bow.

    The Dark Knight now totals $441 million domestically and $263 million overseas for a total of $704.6 million to date. The Mummy was third with $16 million, the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 debuted at fourth place with $10.7 million, and Step Brothers rounded out the top five with $8.9 million. X-Files continued its unexpected plunge, dropping to 13th place, grossing only $1.1 million on the weekend, and quickly shedding screens in only its third week of release. That’s still better money than you can generate by buying auto insurance online, but not by much.

    X-Files: I Want to Believe has grossed $19.6 million against a $30 million budget and seems unlikely to reach black ink until the Blu-Ray video release. The movie has yet to be released outside of the US.

    Review: Birds of Prey – Complete Series (DVD)


    2008 - 08.04

    Every rule that Smallville – the successful small-screen adaptation of Clark Kent’s Wonder Years – made in order to become a mainstream hit – sort of like Dawson’s Creek with superpowers – Birds of Prey totally ignored, to its detriment. In fact, the TV series was more of a traditional “comic book” than the actual comic book it was based on, of the same name.

    Birds of Prey is a comic book that features the wheelchair-bound Barbara Gordon as Oracle, a computer genius, as well as Black Canary – also known as Dinah Lance. In the comic, both are 30-something heroines who play hero but also address midlife issues and not being “sweet young things” anymore.

    So what is the show like? Well… not much like the comic, as it turns out. Oracle is there and well-cast, but Black Canary is transformed into a teenage rookie hero whose biggest concern is finding a solid natural acne treatment and who doesn’t even appear in every episode, and the star of the show quickly becomes Huntress, the alleged offspring of Batman and Catwoman, forcing the show to exist in a weird, post-Batman universe at a time just before Warner Brothers was about to launch … Batman Begins. Huh?

    Aside from ignoring the comic book, and changing the character of villain Harley Quinn considerably, each episode was full of in-costume heroes (Smallville’s cardinal rule was no cape, no blue tights and no flying) and was mired in comic book terminology (demi-humans, for example) that left the mainstream audience confused.

    Then, of course, there’s the whole issue of Huntress being considered a demi-human when neither Batman nor Catwoman possessed superpowers of any kind. Huh? In fact, “Huh?” is a word that’ll come up a lot while viewing this four-disc, complete series collection of Birds of Prey. Add in the occasional “what were they thinking” and you’ll begin to wonder just how Mark Millar and Alfred Gough struck on the right formula the first time around with Smallville, but were so off-target this time.

    Still, Birds of Prey isn’t completely lacking in appeal; there are some nice commentaries, a half-decent collection of special features, and a handful of episodes that indicated the seeds were there for the show to really find itself and become watchable, if given enough time. Unfortunately, Birds of Prey never quite found itself in time and died an early death without the “back nine episodes” ever being approved for airing on The WB.

    Birds of Prey isn’t a terrible DVD collection, but it does stand as a testament to just how difficult it is to get a superhero-based show to play well to a mainstream audience. If Smallville is the handbook on “what to do,” then Birds of Prey is the user’s manual on “what not to do.” This was a show that would have benefited quite a bit from the presence of Joss Whedon.

    Dark Knight still reigns


    2008 - 08.04

    Even the undead can’t bring down The Dark Knight; that’s the lesson to be learned from this week’s box office results as the Caped Crusader stayed atop the weekend box office like pool floats, drawing $42.6 million to arrive at a new total of $393 million domestically. Add in an additional $202 million in foreign box office and The Dark Knight sits at an impressive $596 million in just 17 days.

    Still, the Brenden Fraser vehicle, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor was not exactly blown over by The Dark Knight, earning a respectable $40.4 million for a strong second-place showing. That’s far more than last week’s challenger, X-Files: I Want to Believe, will probably gross at the box office at the end of its run. X-Files fell all the way to the ninth spot this week, drawing only $3.38 million in the crowded field and topping only $17 million in 10 days, far below expectations and marking the film as the biggest disappointment of the summer since Speed Racer.

    Step Brothers was third with $16.5 million ($63.1 million to date), Mamma Mia! was fourth with $12.6 million ($87.4 million to date), and Journey to the Center of the Earth’s $6.6 million ($72.9 million to date) edges the Kevin Costner starrer, Swing Vote, for the fifth spot. The improbable political comedy struggled to earn $6.2 million in its debut, earmarking it as yet another bomb at the box office for the once-potent Costner.

    Meanwhile, aside from Batman, this summer may have helped Brenden Fraser’s career more than any other; with two movies in the top five this past weekend, grossing a combined $47 million this weekend and a combined $113.3 million domestically to date, he’s proven himself to still be bankable.