Three new releases, none excite me

The coming weekend brings three new releases to movie theaters nationwide and while they’re all big, broad-appeal ventures, not one of them excites me. Maybe I’m just getting pickier in the second half of my life, but really… if Hollywood has any fresh ideas squirreled away in a metal building somewhere, it’s time to dig some out, because this coming weekend’s releases are all yawners.

First comes The Adventures of Tintin, a Steven Spielberg production that’s part Indiana Jones and part Toy Story. About the only thing I like about it, however, is that the script duties were handled by Steven Moffatt, current showrunner of Doctor Who.

Then there’s The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, the first US movie made from the Steig Larssen yawner of a trilogy. Sure, everyone’s bought it, but how many people have actually read this boring police procedural? It’s one of the least thrilling thrillers I’ve ever attempted to read. So, no, the film doesn’t excite me.

Finally, there’s the predictable liberal Animal Planet-friendly family comedy, We Bought a Zoo. Yeah, great. And instead of anyone actually funny, it stars Matt Damon. Whatever.

None of these are sequels and they are still epic fails.