HollywoodIdiocy.com

Into the free music downloads fray comes MP3 Rocket, Inc., a company that is trying to do legally what others have failed at pulling off: creating a point-to-point file-sharing network that starts legal and stays legal. Tricky stuff to do, especially in light of the music industries martyrization of Jammie Thomas, a Minnesota native who was hit with legal penalties for illegal downloading and distributing of MP3 files with a financial penalty that came to over $9,000 per song.

Sorry, but there’s no Britney Spears song worth that much, even before the failed marriages and sham comebacks.

MP3 Rocket has been around for a while; since at least 2005, according to their site’s copyright notice. Their software, which includes a free version and a one-time fee version, hooks you into the network that claims acces to about 12 million songs and 250 million users.

The network has strengths and weaknesses. First, it’s search is relatively effective, but a bit slow in returning results. Since MP3 Rocket is attempting to keep their site legal, it you’re looking for the complete works of well-known artists, you might find it a bit of a struggle, but if you’re into wacky, goofy and obscure, you’ll have better results.

For example, just for kicks, I looked up American Idol winner from two seasons ago, Carrie Underwood, and found about half the songs available from her two albums, within the network. When I looked up Brandi Carlile, who also has two albums out, as well as a lot of live tracks recorded from last summer’s concert tour, I found almost nothing except some audio captures from the couple songs she contributed to Grey’s Anatomy last season.

That’s not a great average of matches for two higher-profile artists.

However, I found a wealth of Weird Al Yankovic material within MP3 Rocket, as well as a good amount of material from musical satirist Paul Shanklin, who is pretty much the conservative political embodiment of Yankovic. Unfortunately, I also found a ton of stuff attributed to Yankovic and Shanklin that were actually the work of other artists.

Such mis-identification of the proper artist of given material is usually evidence that there’s a ghost in the machine and there may be some less-than-legal files kicking around in the MP3 Rocket network, despite the company’s efforts to run their company legally.

Despite the 12 million songs claim, MP3 Rocket, Inc., doesn’t appear to be in the same category as the announced, but not fully launched, Qtrax music network, which is promising free and legal downloads with studio agreements in place. Instead, MP3 Rocket appears to be more in the mold of Spiral Frog, Imeem, Napster and the like.

The network is relatively fast; I downloaded about 50 songs just to test the speed and had about a 92 percent success rate for a completed download, in about two hours of effort. That’s not bad, although I had to babysit some of the songs, telling them to resume several times.

The software also hooks you up with access to free TV viewing sites, although the quality of the image will depend on your network speed and conditions. There’s also some access to software downloads, but I didn’t test that out.

In the end, MP3 Rocket’s primary appeal is as a source for MP3 music; there’s plenty to be found, but it’s certainly not a one-stop shop for everything you might want access to. The software is free, though they have a one-time-fee version that runs between $30-50, depending on the special offer active at the time you visit. The pay-software is supposed to increase network performance and speed and claims to give you access to files that folks who access the network with the free software can’t get to.

While I’m not completely convinced yet that MP3 Rocket isn’t walking a legal tightrope already tread by Napster before they got stomped on, what I can say is that the software works reasonably well, the files seem mostly of good quality, and it delivers at least some of what it promises. That’s not bad. Worth a gamble, at least while the company appears to be operating in the clear from legal issues.

Qtrax, the “free and legal” unlimited music download service scheduled to debut yesterday (Sunday) hit a snag when at least four of the biggest music companies - Sony BMG, EMI, Warner Music and Universal - put the brakes on by announcing Monday that their deals with Qtrax were not yet finalized.

Talks between Qtrax (and parent company Brilliant Technologies Corp) and major music labels are said to still be ongoing and the company released a statement stating it believed such details could be addressed quickly so that the debut of the Qtrax service could go forward; however, for now the downloadable software needed to access the Qtrax service has been blocked by the site from further downloads until the service can fully debut.

The company is making several promises beyond offering “25 million songs, free and legal.” One promise is that the company will offer an iPod solution by April 15 (which is also, ironically, tax day in the US), which may come as a surprise to Apple, whose iTunes music service uses a proprietary codec that is exclusively licensed to Apple; it’s unlikely that Apple, currently charging 99 cents per tune, would offer its codec to a competing music service that would undercut its prices by 100 percent.

Thankfully, one solution Qtrax will allegedly offer is to correct roughly a decade of mistakenly attributed music. For years, since the advent of the original Napster service, many music download tracks floating around the Internet have attributed songs to the wrong artist. One notable example is Weird Al Yankovic, who has been credited for many parody songs he’s never written, including works by political satirist Paul Shanklin. Qtrax is also promising not only album cuts in its lineup, but rarities and live performance tracks as well.

While it still sounds too good to be true, Qtrax may be delayed, but is apparently not an Internet hoax.

EMI, Universal and Warner Music - the same companies that only a few months ago charged Minnesota native Jammie Thomas the equivalent of $9,250 per song for every song she’d allegedly downloaded for free - have changed their mind about free online music downloads. According to the Times Online (UK), those companies as well as many other recording companies, have decided at last to embrace file sharing technology.

The reversal came as the music industry announced the introduction of Qtrax, a digital music service that promises a catalog of 25 million songs that users can download and keep for free with no limits. The catch if that Qtrax’s digital jukebox will feature some advertising - kind of like radio ads - and both artists and record labels will be paid based on download popularity. Nearly every song available will allow unrestricted use through the service. If Qtrax takes off, it could pose a serious threat to Apple’s iTunes digital music store, which charges 99 cents per track.

If this all ends up being as good as it sounds, maybe music aficionados can finally spend their hard-earned sawbucks on something other than a Brandi Carlile single; like maybe some wholesale fashion jewelry or an HDTV.

The only question remaining is whether Jammie Thomas is going to be let off the hook by the men in music-industry black suits.

While the music industry isn’t exactly Hollywood, necessarily, record companies today have proved they’ve gone insane. And because their lawyers front celebrities, juries get blinded by the stars and suddenly justice isn’t blind, it’s got star-struck 20/20 eyesight.

I’m writing, of course, about Brainard, MN, woman Jammie Thomas, who was found guilty today of violating copyright law and was ordered to pay the filthy-rich record industry approximately $9,250 per song for 24 songs … roughly $220K in total financial penalties, though that’s not an exact figure. Sounds like a woman who’s gonna need a cash advance… and then some!

Defense attorneys claim Jammie was not the responsible party, attributing the acts to either a hacker or family member. But the jury bought the prosecution’s case.

Now, yes, common sense tells us all that downloading music and other copyrighted material for profit is bad, bad, bad and evil, evil, evil. Artists ought to profit from their work.

But is going after private citizens like Jammie the answer? The music industry has something like 26,000 lawsuits pending against individuals just like Jammie, and spendy lawyers who want to be paid, too. In fact, the music industry is probably losing money pressing this issue against 26,000 private citizens, because I’m sure their $500 to $1,000 an hour lawyers make the cost recovery laughable.

And can they actually collect from Jammie? A $220,000 settlement from a Brainard, MN, woman of modest- to middle-class means? Not likely. Even if they garnished the 30-year-old woman’s wages over the next 35 years of her working life before retirement, I doubt they’d collect the full amount. They’ve also likely ruined her employability for life, as well, in all likelihood.

Over 24 songs? That’s not just ridiculous, it’s idiotic.

Here’s a better, more sensible idea: Order her to 10 years probation. As terms of that probation, she must only buy music in the future from iTunes.com or other legal download sites, and must never install a file-sharing software on her computer again.

Back that up with a suspended 11-month jail term, which can be invoked each and every time she violates the terms of this probation.

And charge her a year’s wages in punitive damages, no more, no less. Amount to be determined by the job she holds at the time of conviction. Allow her the time of her probation - 10 years - to pay it off in full; if she pays it off sooner, she could apply to have probation lifted early.

That would be an amount she could conceivably pay and wouldn’t permanently ruin her life. If she behaved, it would be over in as little as five years; if she was ever convicted a second time on the same charge, the charge level could grow from a misdemeanor to a gross misdemeanor. On a third conviction, perhaps a felony would be appropriate.

And can you imagine explaining THAT to prison inmates?

JAMMIE: Why you in here?

DOTTIE: Killed my husband because he was cheating on me. You?

JAMMIE: I, umm... downloaded a couple Britney Spears discs.

DOTTIE: Britney? Girl, you ain't in here for Run DMC? You my #($*@ now!

Not a way to impress fellow inmates in ‘Da Big House.

But I suspect a one-time offender wouldn’t be very likely to re-offend. Especially when a decent 160GB music and video iPod Classic only costs $349 or so, and on iTunes, each tune is $0.99.

Granted, some may consider a buck per tune a bit pricey, but you can buy an entire CD and put it on your iPod at no extras cost because it’s yours - you bought the CD. And that’s a lot cheaper than $9,250 per song. By a long shot.

* Photo credit: Jammie Thomas exiting court. (AP Photo/Julia Cheng)