Tagged: Britney Spears

Britney costs HIMYM Silverstone!

You can dress Britney Spears up in equestrian clothing or bury her in a nurses’ garb, and nothing changes; wherever she goes, the Pop Tart causes chaos. Shortly after announcing the casting of the unstable Spears in a small supporting role on CBS’ How I Met Your Mother, Alicia Silverstone, selected recently for a multi-episode arc that may have revealed her as the long-awaited Mother of the show’s title, canceled her commitment to the show.

Silverstone’s reps reportedly fears Spears’ notoriety would overshadow Silverstone’s appearance on the show, which isn’t far-fetched. The latest word is that the female doctor Silverstone was slated to play will now be portrayed by Scrubs’ Sarah Chalke, and the storyline will center more on Spears’ character.

The good news is that Silverstone remains open to appearing on How I Met Your Mother, and the show’s creators have stated they hope to create a different character for her soon. Meanwhile, the doctor who seemed destined to become “Mother” now will be reconceived as just another ship that passes through Ted’s long night of the soul, since Chalke’s schedule was too full to accommodate anything more than one episode, since Scrubs is still in production and may even be renewed for a previously-believed-to-be-unlikely eighth season, be it on NBC or ABC.

Celebrity Apprentice could be "not bad"

The upcoming celebrity edition of Donald Trump’s The Apprentice could become watchable if a few more casting decisions turn out well. Already the NBC reality show, rescued from the scrap heap by new entertainment president Ben Silverman, has a somewhat decent cast lined up.

It includes, naturally, season one bad-girl Omarosa, as well as Jim Cramer, Carmen Electra, Joan Rivers, Naomi Judd, George Foreman, Kimora Lee Simmons, Pete Rose, Dana Patrick, Tony Hawk and Jeff Gordon.

However, three celebs who are still in negotiations could make the upcoming season a ratings home run. They are Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan. Just seeing who would crack first if they were put on the same team as Omarosa would make it with tuning in.

All I can say, Donald, is don’t let any one of these ditzes – especially Omarosa – anywhere near any company that specializes in life insurance for kids.

Does anyone care who Britney’s bumping uglies with?

Today, walking through a local Cub Foods, a somewhat respectable celebrity tabloid assaulted me with a semi-nude photo of a couple woman and screamed the following headline at me: Britney’s New Lover … and yes, it’s a WOMAN.

Am I supposed to care who a has-been, divorced pop star is sharing bunk beds with? Because I really, really don’t.

Not even close to 30 yet, Britney seems to be following the path of Madonna all too quickly. Justin Timberlake is her Sean Penn, except Justin and Britney had a couple kids.

Speaking of which, a second tabloid screamed to inform me that Britney’s such a bad mom, she’s told both her kids they were “mistakes.” Do I need this gossip in my life? Absolutely not. I mean, it’s not like there’s a voice recorder to prove she’s an abusive ass to her kids like what happened with Alec Baldwin last spring. And heck, at least one of her kids is too young to understand, even if she did say such a thing.

I soon realized, as I scanned the aisle of gossip rags, that it must be National Britney Libel Week for the celebrity scandal sheets; Ms. Spears was featured as a cover story on all of them – and every story was different.

Maybe it’s time she reverse the Laura Ingraham-inspired motto of this site; maybe it’s time Britney sing so that her critics would finally shut up. I don’t care what’s true, I don’t care what’s false, I just want her blonde face out of my sight in my local Cub Foods.

Is that too much to ask?