HollywoodIdiocy.com

Don’t drink and drive.

But if you’re going to, make sure you’re a brainless blonde bombshell with some starring roles in silly movies. Then, well… aww, you’re so cute! How could we lock you up?

That’s pretty much the message. After Paris Hilton courageously blazed the trail through the county hoos-gow, getting jailed for DUI is all the rage in Hollywood, especially with the criminally-shortened prison terms most of these twits are serving.

After Hilton made a scene uglier than a colon cleanse over a meager 40 day sentence - of which she served only a fraction, and with a nice, comfy break in between, over her sentence, now all the other bombshells are getting away with endangering life and limb of other drivers with even less time served.

My Way News is reporting that Lindsey Lohan served only one day of her sentence in county lockup out in Beverly Hills. Heck, some photo ops last longer.

And expectant mother Nicole Richie served even less!

At this point, Hollywood’s sense of celebrity crime and punishment is about on par with how Andy Griffith handled the town drunk on the Andy Griffith Show, trusting him to let himself in and out as he needed to.

Truly an example of Hollywood Idiocy.

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The upcoming celebrity edition of Donald Trump’s The Apprentice could become watchable if a few more casting decisions turn out well. Already the NBC reality show, rescued from the scrap heap by new entertainment president Ben Silverman, has a somewhat decent cast lined up.

It includes, naturally, season one bad-girl Omarosa, as well as Jim Cramer, Carmen Electra, Joan Rivers, Naomi Judd, George Foreman, Kimora Lee Simmons, Pete Rose, Dana Patrick, Tony Hawk and Jeff Gordon.

However, three celebs who are still in negotiations could make the upcoming season a ratings home run. They are Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan. Just seeing who would crack first if they were put on the same team as Omarosa would make it with tuning in.

All I can say, Donald, is don’t let any one of these ditzes - especially Omarosa - anywhere near any company that specializes in life insurance for kids.

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Paris Hilton was released from jail after serving only three full days in Century Regional Detention Facility in Los Angeles. The star of E! channel’s The Simple Life apparently conned guards into becoming concerned over her mental health and well-being by refusing to eat and crying herself to sleep every night. Some guards and medics fretted over whether she would give into a total nervous breakdown or even become a suicide risk.

Dollars to donuts, Mr. and Mrs. Hilton witnesses similar behavior by Paris, now 26, about 10-15 years ago, when attempting to ground her to her room. Yet because she is viewed as a young, wealthy, white socialite, her temper tantrum theatrics secured her early release to “house arrest” for the balance of her 23-sentence, reduced from an original 45-day sentence.

Meanwhile, her Samsonite luggage hasn’t even grown cold in the lockup’s personal affects locker and the big scandal is the question of whether someone old, poor, and non-white would have received such sympathetic treatment.

Here’s a hint: NO!

Does anyone with half a brain (which still puts them well ahead of Ms. Hilton) think Paris was suicidal? Unlikely. And at least the judge and prosecutor aren’t buying it: she’s been ordered back to court on Friday (today) for a review of her release, and may even be sent back to jail.

I’d recommend not letting her have dessert with her meals, either; a tactic which, if employed by Mr. and Mrs. Hilton some years ago, might have steered Paris clear of such narcissistic behavior.

Another shining example of Hollywood Idiocy.

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Call it a case of Paris envy.

Shortly after Hollywood TrashGirl Paris Hilton got herself some real jail time for a driving violation, fellow TrashGirl Lindsay Lohan has gone out and attempted to copycat the “That’s Hot” girl with a DUI violation and booking of her own. Could Hilton’s example and Lohan’s rivalry with her be the cause behind LL’s booking?

Lohan’s been on a self-destructive “party girl” streak for years, ruining her own rep long before this latest incident. But with Hilton grabbing so much press for messing up her life, could a micro-sentence in California county jails become the new “Betty Ford Rehab Center” cry for attention?

All in all, if these “famous for being famous” celebs want to improve their lot in life, they’d be better off taking an Orlando vacation than a trip to the Big House. Stranger things have happened … but only in Hollywood.

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According to several reports online, a video of Paris Hilton and her sister, Nikki, was posted on YouTube.com this week. The video, which didn’t display a date when it was taken or specify the location of the video that was shot, appears to show Paris and Nikki uttering the “N-word,” as well as making comments that could most tastefully be described as “anti-Semitic.”

Of course, the Hilton sisters have never made a movie expressing their religious views, as Mel Gibson did, so it’s unlikely the bubble-headed pair will pay much of a price for their outspokenness. Their hard-working lawyers have already had the video pulled from YouTube.com and other video-sharing Web sites.

Of course, the video may be a cruel hoax.

However, it wouldn’t be the first time that a celebrity who keeps up public appearances projecting one type of image, gets caught uttering objectionable stuff that’s contrary to that public image. Of course, considering Paris is best known for a bootleg porn video and uttering phrases like, “that’s hot,” to hard-working middle Americans she can’t stand and doesn’t like, I guess there’s not much of a public image standard for her to maintain.

Perhaps Paris, Nikki and Mel can all go into business card printing, where they can share their Neanderthal views with each other over lunch break, and no one will give a rat’s patoot!

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